40 So it was, when Jesus returned, that the multitude welcomed Him, for they were all waiting for Him. 41 And behold, there came a man named Jairus, and he was a ruler of the synagogue. And he fell down at Jesus’ feet and begged Him to come to his house, 42 for he had an only daughter about twelve years of age, and she was dying.
But as He went, the multitudes thronged Him. 43 Now a woman, having a flow of blood for twelve years, who had spent all her livelihood on physicians and could not be healed by any, 44 came from behind and touched the border of His garment. And immediately her flow of blood stopped.
45 And Jesus said, “Who touched Me?”
When all denied it, Peter and those with him said, “Master, the multitudes throng and press You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’ ”
46 But Jesus said, “Somebody touched Me, for I perceived power going out from Me.” 47 Now when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling; and falling down before Him, she declared to Him in the presence of all the people the reason she had touched Him and how she was healed immediately.
48 And He said to her, “Daughter, be of good cheer; your faith has made you well. Go in peace.”
49 While He was still speaking, someone came from the ruler of the synagogue’s house, saying to him, “Your daughter is dead. Do not trouble the Teacher.”
50 But when Jesus heard it, He answered him, saying, “Do not be afraid;only believe, and she will be made well.” 51 When He came into the house, He permitted no one to go in except Peter, James, and John, and the father and mother of the girl. 52 Now all wept and mourned for her; but He said, “Do not weep; she is not dead, but sleeping.” 53 And they ridiculed Him, knowing that she was dead.
54 But He put them all outside, took her by the hand and called, saying, [TALITHA CUMI] “Little girl, arise.” 55 Then her spirit returned, and she arose immediately. And He commanded that she be given something to eat. 56 And her parents were astonished, but He charged them to tell no one what had happened.

I think about the story of Jairus in Matthew 9, Mark 5, and Luke 8 pretty often. I see it differently now than I did years ago. I’ve done the whole pleading-with-God-for-the-life-of-my-daughter thing. I know the type of yearning and begging that arises out of the deepest depths of a parent’s soul. Physically, it feels like it begins in your gut — it’s nauseating, actually. I know the simultaneous faith and frustration: Knowing Jesus could heal her if you could only convince Him to do it.

There’s not much said about the emotions of Jairus. We’re told he was a ruler in a synagogue, and we know that while his family and neighbors were all gathered at his house, preparing for his daughter’s inevitable death, Jairus left to go find Jesus. He left his daughter’s death bed. I can tell you that even the most optimistic single ventricle heart moms have probably pictured their child’s last breaths, and I can also tell you with absolute certainty that the ONLY thing that would cause me to miss those moments would be the opportunity to GO. GET. JESUS.

I wonder if Jairus told people he was leaving. Did he discuss it with his wife? Did anyone even think it was a good idea? Probably not, considering they ridiculed Jesus once He arrived at the house of Jairus. Mostly I’ve wondered, now that I’ve been on the medical crisis side of things, why did no one go with Jairus? Or better yet, why didn’t anyone go for Jairus? Did he not have one friend willing to make the trek at a moment’s notice? They had obviously all heard of Jesus by this point — a man performing miracles. I wonder if Jairus risked his reputation in seeking Jesus to heal his daughter, instead of sticking with traditional methods.

In any case, Jairus walked alone.

I wonder if he sang on the way. Or maybe recited scriptures? Did he feel the same numbness I have felt packing hospital bags over and over again? It’s a numbness fueled by adrenaline, protecting the waves of fear and grief that always seem to be right on the edge of flooding an entire being. There’s a strength that is unique to a parent fighting for their children, and it can get you through just about anything, I’d bet…including walking as far as you need to go to find a Healer.

Jairus walked alone. Because twelve years was not enough time with his little girl. But when he finally found Jesus, the whole plan was interrupted. Because twelve years is a long time for a daughter to suffer.

Did Jairus feel frustrated when Jesus stopped to find out who touched Him? The Bible doesn't give us these details. But as a mother who would walk endlessly to heal my daughter, I know the urgency that Jairus must have felt in getting Jesus home in time to heal this little girl. Though I don't know the distance he walked, I'd imagine that Jairus would have gone as far as he needed to go to reach Jesus, and push through whatever crowds he needed to in order to get His attention.

Jesus stopped in the middle of this desperately urgent situation to speak with a woman of no social status. He called her "daughter," implying that He feels for her the desperation that Jairus feels for his own. She had bled for as long as Jairus's daughter had been alive. And in the same day, they were both healed.

I also don't know if Jairus's daughter was born healthy, or if she had also suffered with illness for 12 years. Either way, little girls are not "supposed" to die. They are built for joy and not for death. A woman is not "supposed" to bleed for 12 years. She is built for purpose and not for loneliness. That day, Jesus restored both.

It's interesting that a friend found Jairus to tell him that his daughter had died – "Don't waste your effort" seems to be his tone when he arrived. Why didnt this same friend accompany Jairus, or better yet go on his behalf, so that Jairus could spend that time with his wife and daughter? No doubt, Jairus was needed at home. I wonder if his wife wanted him to go, if they'd been having hushed conversations about this healer. Maybe He could help? Whatever the case, it is clear when Jesus arrives that He is not fully welcome by those gathered there. Jairus chose to believe anyway, against all logic, that Jesus could still redeem the situation, and He brings Jesus home. Jesus excuses those who are clearly expecting nothing from Him, and goes inside the house with just a couple disciples and the girl's parents.

TALITHA CUMI.

Little girl, GET UP!

And just like that, her illness was gone. Her life was restored.

How far I would walk to bring Jesus to our home. How far I would walk to bring him to our sweet friend, Oliver, who is suffering deeply from a failed Fontan. The distance I would go – there is no limit.

But I have never walked alone like Jairus had to. We have been covered by the prayers of friends that Jairus should have had, all walking to Jesus on our behalf. God has grown a garden of good things out of awfulness, but here we still are in a broken world. Sunley's heart is not healed. We watch as our bubbly 4 year old stops playing to massage her ankles because even after all of her surgeries, procedures, hospitalizations, and medications, her body doesn't work as it "should." We exist in a cliffhanger, permanently, waiting for the resolution, and knowing we eventually move toward more and more health issues whether we are ready or not.

We are not "supposed" to exist in a cliffhanger. But here we are. We are not designed to carry the burden of outcomes we can not control. But everything here is broken. Babies die. And if they don't die, well sometimes they suffer. Sometimes Jesus doesn't heal what a father is begging Him to heal. The very ugly truth in the single ventricle world seems to be that either your child will die, or your child will live while you watch others die, sometimes randomly and without reason. How awfully cynical.

If there was no Jesus, then the above statement is all there would be. BUT there is Jesus. Somehow, through miracles only He can perform, joy is strung throughout these stories, regardless of outcomes, like a beam of light through a dark room. It gets in through cracks created from brokenness. And the real miracle is that our story doesn't end with the outcome chosen by a broken world. Restoration is coming when Jesus finally takes us home.

He is desperate to save us, as Jairus was desperate for his daughter’s healing. I believe that He pleads for us — perhaps similarly to how I have begged for the life of my child. Maybe it comes from the deepest parts of Him, and maybe He feels it physically in His gut — nauseating, actually. Knowing He can fix everything and just waiting for the appointed time. God has the big picture — He knows the why’s we do not know, and He sees the outcomes fully followed by the resolution of heaven. I'm sure Jesus is ready and waiting for God to give the word. And as urgently as Jairus must have walked to Jesus, I'd bet there is even more urgency in His rescuing us. It's coming. And that gives me hope.